• Ok whose idea was it to dress the moon up in a gigantic tanooki suit last night? I couldn't look away or stop vomiting for 6 hours straight. #
• Some girl at Starbucks started glitch-casting Lightning 2 on the barista. Now my inventory is full of tall Americanos.Thanks a lot, lady. #
• Sunblock is basically useless in the woods. Got a bad-ass treeburn. #
• I quit smoking cold turkey and started freebasing falcon gristle. All in all for the best but how do I stop these nosebleeds? #
• The backdoor in Microsoft Outlook just leads to a boarded-up Blockbuster in Reno. #
• @daveywhitney And it's STILL Monday. in reply to daveywhitney #
• @tametick Hey, sorry it took so long for me to reply, but I bought the game on BMTMicro (I'm on a Mac). I'd like to play an updated version. #
• @tametick Tried that: "This app cannot be installed because this installer has been misconfigured. Please contact the app author." in reply to tametick #
• @tametick Removing the old version worked. Thank you! in reply to tametick #
• Dead Dog Zone was hands-down the weirdest Sonic the Hedgehog level. #
• "Comedy Gold Rush: 5 Tons of 24-karat Hipster Jokes Being Mined Daily in NYC Alone" #
• "Miners Strike Comedy Arsenic Early Tuesday Afternoon; No Survivors" #
• @booksijustread http://t.co/M7dJyFHA in reply to booksijustread #
• @booksijustread Haha why not?? in reply to booksijustread #
• @michaelianblack On Blu-ray? in reply to michaelianblack #
• @designsponge <3 Garbage Truck in reply to designsponge #
• @lowtax Super Mary is a real* game » http://t.co/dKh6byuB *shitty knock-off in reply to lowtax #
• @cadetZemm Hah, that's great! I've been meaning to check out the repo. I'm juggling a lot right now but could probably put in some effort. in reply to cadetZemm #
• Beware the White Crappie http://t.co/Bk4fEH4x #
• Portland has to be one of the most beautiful cities in the US. Perhaps the most beautiful on an urban level. #
• Just watched a crow carefully pack a chicken wing bone into the neighbor's gutter #workinhardorhardlyworkin #seriouslyiwanttoknow #
• I love building websites from the ground up [BONES OF THOSE WHO ONCE DOUBTED ME] #
• @bryanwoods What do you mean? in reply to bryanwoods #
• How to make sushi for kids: 1) FIND LIVE FISH; 2) BITE LARGELY INTO SIDE OF FISH; 3) CACKLE MANIACALLY 4) DISAPPEAR IN A CLOUD OF GNATS #
• @daveywhitney I know how loud in reply to daveywhitney #
• @lewisdenby Tarot Sport is an amazing album. Headphones-only on that one (at least the first time). in reply to lewisdenby #
• EW MY CATS ARE FURRIES #
• Napping is for people who don't have to pee every 6 minutes. #
• "God, what is that guy's PROBLEM." -A bad doctor #
• Isn't it weird how there are 60 minutes in an hour but 99 seconds in a minute? #ibelieveinmiracles #

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